Time markers

I’m trying to let go of unachievable goals.

I have a container of delicious coffee. I don’t know how many times I’ve told myself “I need to be pregnant again before I get to the end of this bag,” or even “I’ll change my toothbrush when I get pregnant again.” I’m only driving myself crazy and creating unnecessary pressure, and strange personal habits, and setting myself up for failure.

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I’m a Virgo, so I feel it’s in my nature to construct a reality full of lists, goals, and criticize myself harshly when things aren’t satisfied to my personal expectations. And making time markers to get pregnant by are just silly.

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My brain is a Virgo, but my ovaries don’t follow that planning chart, and do whatever the fuck they want no matter what’s going on outside them. They don’t care if I want to have my coffee addiction paused for a baby interlude, and my teeth don’t appreciate baser hygiene because I feel compelled to reward myself with a new toothbrush if a life goal is achieved or not.

In short: I’m weird. And it’s ok. I just want to stop adding stress to my life. It’s silly. Stop it, Mel!

3 comments on “Time markers

  1. tersiaburger says:

    I had to smile Mel. Vic was a Virgo and made ENDLESS lists, she was a coffee addict and had a thing for toothbrushes and brushing her teeth!! Hang in there dear friend. When your body is ready it will play along.

  2. Mel Lefebvre says:

    Thanks Tersia! I’m glad I could make you smile 🙂 I guess us Virgos aren’t all that different. I hope you’ve been well/hanging on/seeing the sun.

  3. Elisabeth Anderson says:

    You’re wonderful Mel. 🙂 I totally get setting up mini-rewards for doing things or getting things done. But as you said, your ovaries don’t know your toothbrush is waiting to be changed and that your teeth are depending on them to do their job. I think you deserve a new toothbrush right now.


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