Le life, etc.

The wheels of life are turning. I have a few writing gigs popping up here and there. Not enough to make a living, but it’s a start, and I’m very grateful. To read my work, just pop over to my other blog.

We also heard back from Sainte Justine’s genetic counselor who has been following Henry’s case. According to blood samples they took from Tyler & myself, we’re absolutely not carriers of osteogenesis imperfecta. It’s what everyone suspected, but it’s a relief nonetheless.The counselor said there’s a five per cent chance of recurrence, but I know now that there are ample diseases, defects, and mysterious tragedies that can befall a fetus. So I’ll worry about those instead.

If/when we do have another baby, we’ll be followed by Ste. Justine. We’ll get an amniocentesis at around 15 weeks which will scan for any genetic issues (and will tell us if it’s a boy or a girl!). I had an amnio with Henry, right before we lost him for good. I kept my eyes closed the whole time, so I didn’t see how big the needle was, but apparently: HUGE! It didn’t hurt, surprisingly.



And if/when we do have another baby, it’ll be a mix of elation and terror. Time will crawl by. Every moment of the day will be fraught with worry, but also joy at the little bean growing away, all on its own, oblivious of the roller coaster his/her mommy will sit on for nine months.

6 comments on “Le life, etc.

  1. Carol Oss (Usas) says:

    Hi Mel. As you must guess, I am so sorry for what you, Tyler and your Mom and Grandmom have gone through. I think you should try to present you blog to Canadian Living, and the other womens magazines. They are good…Proud of you…love Carol Oss

  2. tersiaburger says:

    So happy for you that you are getting some assignments. I am so happy for your good news! With Vic we found that her dad was a carrier. I am so excited for you!!

  3. rachelmeeks says:

    You are so very strong and brave. I’m having trouble finding the right words to say, but know that this blog has made me think, and I’ll be reflecting on your story a lot in the coming days.

  4. Mel – I am holding the Vision for your next pregnancy to be so uneventful it will practically be boring – you breath through the fear, have no morning sickness, no bizarre blips or scares — full-term baby, easy labor and quick delivery — then a beautiful, healthy, brilliant bundle with an apgar score off the charts!

    I know nothing of what’s beyond, but it comforts me to hear from those who believe that souls have choice, and that sometimes they back out because they realize that the time is not right. Sometimes they return to the original parents, sometimes not, but they watch with love for all that follows.

    It doesn’t change the grief for THIS child, which you’ll miss forevermore, no matter what anyone says to the contrary. How could you not?

    Time will give you back your wholeness, and some day the missing won’t feel so much like a sudden ambush of overwhelming loss, or that your heart has been ripped from your chest — but THIS child will always have the most special of places in it. ALWAYS and forever. NO one can take that from you. EVER!

    I admire you for the strength I know it takes to keep on writing on days when you barely want to get out of bed. This too will pass – leaving behind your love for your child and your craft. Along with words to comfort another who feels alone in a hell they are certain no one else will ever understand — until she finds her way here, and a nano-second of peace to give her time to catch her breath.

    Your child’s spirit lives on in every single word you write.

    My love to you.

    Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CMC, SCAC, MCC
    – ADD Coaching Field co-founder –
    (ADDandSoMuchMore and ADDerWorld – dot com!)
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

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